Suitably Flip

Sciento-logic

Recently, Roger Friedman claimed on FoxNews.com that Isaac Hayes could not have quit South Park of his own volition due to a recent stroke and that a representative from the Church of Scientology, to which Hayes belongs, was speaking on his behalf (perhaps without his knowledge or consent and presumably in retribution for the Scientology-spoofing episode of the show which was the ostensible reason for Hayes' departure).

To fully debunk that claim, and to prove definitively that these are the words and sentiments of Hayes himself, a spokesperson for Hayes has... wait for it... made another statement on his behalf.

His spokeswoman Amy Harnell says, "That's a false report.

"He wasn't in the hospital for very long. He's back on his feet, and doing really well.

"The press release did come from him. He is the one who decided to leave South Park. Basically, he decided to leave it behind him."

Harnell adds Hayes is busy preparing himself for fatherhood again because his fourth wife, Adjowa, is expecting a baby "due any minute."

Well, it's certainly comforting to have a spokesperson doing the reassuring that the spokespeople are accurately conveying Hayes' message.

If this is true, and Hayes is not only physically well, but simply wrapped up in the joy of pending fatherhood, why wouldn't he come out and make a statement himself.  It wouldn't have to be a big press conference - just make a phone call to a reporter of his choosing and confirm Harnell's account of his decision to quit the show and his current physical state.  Maybe he doesn't relish the idea of the prying eyes of the media during this transitional family moment.  But what could fuel the speculative fires more than remaining silent, continually dispatching your spokespeople to confirm that it's really you they're speaking for?

This pretty clearly doesn't add up.  A logician might say the idea that Harnell is telling us the whole truth fares poorly when subjected to a reductio ad absurdum argument.

And if you're left with any doubt that Chef's "fruity little club" is pulling the strings on this one, consider the fact that the spokesperson in question, Amy Harnell, appears to be a career Scientologist herself!  Perhaps even an official representative.

A 2004 article in the Bronx Times refers to "Amy Harnell of the Church of Scientology Artists Association."  (Hat tip: South Park Studios message board.)  Her identity as a "Hayes spokesperson" may well be self-applied.  Or perhaps church-applied.

Roger Friedman seemed to be about as close to this situation as the CoS might tolerate, which is to say just shy of being able to determine first hand exactly what's going on.  I hope he continues to press this story, on the off chance that he can get to the bottom of what's really happened to Chef.

In the meantime, let's keep the number of a good deprogrammer handy.

Previously:
Konspiracy Korner - Did Chef Really Quit South Park?
Goodbye, Children!

Comments

Sciento-logic

Recently, Roger Friedman claimed on FoxNews.com that Isaac Hayes could not have quit South Park of his own volition due to a recent stroke and that a representative from the Church of Scientology, to which Hayes belongs, was speaking on his behalf (perhaps without his knowledge or consent and presumably in retribution for the Scientology-spoofing episode of the show which was the ostensible reason for Hayes' departure).

To fully debunk that claim, and to prove definitively that these are the words and sentiments of Hayes himself, a spokesperson for Hayes has... wait for it... made another statement on his behalf.

His spokeswoman Amy Harnell says, "That's a false report.

"He wasn't in the hospital for very long. He's back on his feet, and doing really well.

"The press release did come from him. He is the one who decided to leave South Park. Basically, he decided to leave it behind him."

Harnell adds Hayes is busy preparing himself for fatherhood again because his fourth wife, Adjowa, is expecting a baby "due any minute."

Well, it's certainly comforting to have a spokesperson doing the reassuring that the spokespeople are accurately conveying Hayes' message.

If this is true, and Hayes is not only physically well, but simply wrapped up in the joy of pending fatherhood, why wouldn't he come out and make a statement himself.  It wouldn't have to be a big press conference - just make a phone call to a reporter of his choosing and confirm Harnell's account of his decision to quit the show and his current physical state.  Maybe he doesn't relish the idea of the prying eyes of the media during this transitional family moment.  But what could fuel the speculative fires more than remaining silent, continually dispatching your spokespeople to confirm that it's really you they're speaking for?

This pretty clearly doesn't add up.  A logician might say the idea that Harnell is telling us the whole truth fares poorly when subjected to a reductio ad absurdum argument.

And if you're left with any doubt that Chef's "fruity little club" is pulling the strings on this one, consider the fact that the spokesperson in question, Amy Harnell, appears to be a career Scientologist herself!  Perhaps even an official representative.

A 2004 article in the Bronx Times refers to "Amy Harnell of the Church of Scientology Artists Association."  (Hat tip: South Park Studios message board.)  Her identity as a "Hayes spokesperson" may well be self-applied.  Or perhaps church-applied.

Roger Friedman seemed to be about as close to this situation as the CoS might tolerate, which is to say just shy of being able to determine first hand exactly what's going on.  I hope he continues to press this story, on the off chance that he can get to the bottom of what's really happened to Chef.

In the meantime, let's keep the number of a good deprogrammer handy.

Previously:
Konspiracy Korner - Did Chef Really Quit South Park?
Goodbye, Children!