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Scientology Gag Made Manifest

Sweet Xenu of the Galactic Confederacy, this story just gets weirder and weirder.

According to insiders, cult follower Tom Cruise has procured a special adult pacifier for his baby mama Katie Holmes, to ensure she follows Scientology's dictates of a silent birth.  Cruise and a team of Scientologist handlers have kept Holmes laregely isolated from the media, family, and friends throughout much of her pregnancy (discussed previously here), but this is more than a little sick.

It's a specially crafted adult pacifier, reports Star magazine.

"He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for her to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams," a source tells the mag. "In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery."

Cruise's PR rep, Arnold Robinson, denied the existence of an adult pacifier.

Yes, well, we know all about PR reps, don't we?

Star also reports that Holmes - with Scientology minder Jessica Rodriguez often at her side - has been spending long days at the Celebrity Centre in Hollywood and is under pressure to renounce her Catholic upbringing and fully embrace Scientology.

Yeah, we know all about those long days at the Celebrity Centre too.

Can someone kindly dispatch an FBI team to storm this place?

Previously:
Return to Konspiracy Korner - The Strange Transformation of Katie Holmes
Sciento-logic
Konspiracy Korner - Did Chef Really Quit South Park?

Comments

Scientology Gag Made Manifest

Sweet Xenu of the Galactic Confederacy, this story just gets weirder and weirder.

According to insiders, cult follower Tom Cruise has procured a special adult pacifier for his baby mama Katie Holmes, to ensure she follows Scientology's dictates of a silent birth.  Cruise and a team of Scientologist handlers have kept Holmes laregely isolated from the media, family, and friends throughout much of her pregnancy (discussed previously here), but this is more than a little sick.

It's a specially crafted adult pacifier, reports Star magazine.

"He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for her to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams," a source tells the mag. "In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery."

Cruise's PR rep, Arnold Robinson, denied the existence of an adult pacifier.

Yes, well, we know all about PR reps, don't we?

Star also reports that Holmes - with Scientology minder Jessica Rodriguez often at her side - has been spending long days at the Celebrity Centre in Hollywood and is under pressure to renounce her Catholic upbringing and fully embrace Scientology.

Yeah, we know all about those long days at the Celebrity Centre too.

Can someone kindly dispatch an FBI team to storm this place?

Previously:
Return to Konspiracy Korner - The Strange Transformation of Katie Holmes
Sciento-logic
Konspiracy Korner - Did Chef Really Quit South Park?