"It's Big, It's Heavy, It's Wood"

"It's better than bad, it's good!"

If you thought there was no television concept that could possibly out-bore the Yule Log - that annual 3-hour Christmas "show" which features, yes, a burning log - think again.  Presenting, a documentary about the Yule Log.

Now, for the first time in the storied log's 40-year history, secrets of the burning timber will be revealed.

*Gasp*

The hour-long special includes a history of the log from its inaugural Christmas season in the fireplace at Gracie Mansion in 1966, where an overzealous producer removed the fireplace grate to better showcase the licking flames, which let a burning ember escape, thereby destroying a precious $4,000 rug.

Oh my God, I'm bored just thinking about it.

The special includes interviews with Gracie Mansion historian Ellen Stern as well as Mitch Thrower, the son of Fred Thrower, father of the log.

Interviews with descendants of the logfather notwithstanding, I just can't see them making this show interesting enough to prevent viewers from taking their own lives before the first commercial break.

Log-centric (logarithmic?) television has been entertaining precisely once.