She Who Smelt It

Yesterday's American Flight 1053 from Dulles to Dallas was diverted to Nashville when eagle-nosed passengers detected the smell of burning matches.

Once the plane was on the ground, the FBI, TSA, and airport security sprung into action.  The passengers were offloaded and bomb-sniffing dogs were brought on board, soon discovering the burnt matches on a passenger's seat.

Upon questioning the woman assigned to that seat, the FBI learned the matches had been used, not in attempt to detonate a shoe bomb, but to disguise another kind of bomb.

A woman passenger told investigators that she lit matches to mask gas that she emitted.

Supposedly the woman has a medical condition, so it's not quite extremely funny.  But one has to assume that striking matches on an airplane is going to get you noticed in a hurry.  How bad could the pungency have been that she'd risk probable arrest (and possible group bludgeoning at the hands of vigilant passengers) just to avoid a little humiliation?  And wasn't there a sleeping passenger nearby that she could gesture toward if anyone looked at her accusingly?

The funky flyer was not charged, but she was also not allowed back on the plane and, according to airport security, American has banned her "for a long time".

Elsewhere: Mary Katherine