New York's Runaway Banwagon

Trans fats, cellphones, iPods, baseball bats, Wal-mart, the circus, even taboo words.  There's almost nothing that nannyitis-stricken local and state lawmakers don't see fit to outlaw in New York.

The latest public threat so grave as to justify trampling personal freedoms by banning it:  spinning rims.

State Senator John Sabini (D-Queens) has introduced a bill, now before the Senate Transportation Committee, which "Prohibits the use or sale of hubcaps which contain parts designed to continue moving when the motor vehicle to which they are attached is not moving."

The fine: up to $750.

In fairness to Senator Sabini, let's hear him out.  From the "Justification" section of the text of the bill (search for "S01640"):

This legislation is intended to prevent automobile accidents caused by hubcaps that are designed to deceive other motorists into believing the vehicle is moving, or traveling at a rate of speed different than the actual speed of the vehicle. While the design and use of devices known, as "spinners" is benign, the use of these devices on public roads can cause accidents resulting in serious injury or death. The sole purpose and design of spinners are to provide the illusion of movement of the vehicle's wheels and to thereby deceive persons into believing the vehicle is moving at a rate of speed greater than the actual speed of the vehicle, including when the vehicle is stopped. Unfortunately, this otherwise innocent deception can result in other motorists misjudging the rate of speed of the vehicle equipped with "spinners", and can result in the other motorist taking actions based on the perceived but misleading speed of the other vehicle.

The mind surrenders to boggling.

Since we're so flagrantly getting into the game of behavior and lifestyle control, why not simply ban drivers from drawing hasty conclusions about the speed of other cars based on the RPM of their hubcaps.  This measure would be somewhat easier to enforce, as I'm fairly certain no driver in the history of our fair state has ever made use of hubcap rotation rate as a determining factor in gauging a car's velocity.  Certainly not when other visual cues (say, for instance, the fact that a car is sitting still) argue against the hubcap-implied motion.

How about when you're watching something rotating very fast (a spinner, a fan, "The Price Is Right" wheel, etc.) and as it speeds up or slows down, it appears to create a secondary pattern, which rotates much more slowly, or even stops and reverses?  Might we be able to ban all optical illusions once and for all?

One almost has to wonder if Sabini is putting us on.  I know it's fashionable among the New York legislative set to outlaw things willy-nilly, but doesn't your bill at least have to pass some kind of nominal laugh test?

If he told us that there were reports of spinners actually flying right off the wheels, injuring people or damaging property, he might have a bit more of a leg to stand on.  But to suggest witless New Yorkers are out there overestimating hooptie speeds and making disastrous decisions as a result, and that we therefore must pass a law banning wheel decorations, is more than a little absurd.

Previously:
iNanny
New York Loves the N-Word
Nannyism Is the New Black
Nannyism in New York