Denver Swipes a Page From Neighboring South Park's Playbook

In the "South Park" episode Night Of the Living Homeless, the Colorado mountain town is overrun by its panhandling population and nearly destroyed, until someone has the bright idea to bus them all off to California.

If you replace the word California with zoo, that's pretty much what Denver is planning to do, in order to de-homeless its streets before the Democrats come to town in August.

"If they don't want to get caught up in the protests or demonstrations, we'll find other activities that will keep them busy," said John Parvensky, President of the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless.

A plan has been developed to provide interested homeless people with free access to cultural activities. They include the Denver Zoo and the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, and they won’t have to worry about paying for transportation.

“We’ll have bus tokens if they need them,” Parvensky said.

Frankly, can you blame them?  C'mon, Barack's refined sensibilities are such that he feels unclean in the presence of non-bilinguals; surely he can't be asked to suffer close proximity to the destitute.

Now, all they need is a snappy tune to convince the homeless to actually board the buses.  They'll have to swap out some of the California-centric words for more zooey lyrics, but this should be a good start: