PETA Solves Immigration Problem
Each year, several hundred billion aspiring illegal immigrants attempt to enter the United States surreptitiously via the underprotected Mexican border.
It's no surprise that non-Americans clamor to get in on the opportunities, opulence, and decadent convenience of modern American living. But researchers at the anti-eating think tank known as PETA may have found a surprisingly simple solution: remind northward migrants (salivating at the prospect of a quarter pounder in every pot) that meat is not only murder, it's suicide.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals plans today to announce an unusual marketing pitch to the U.S. government: Rent us space on the fence for billboards warning illegal border crossers there is more to fear than the Border Patrol.
The billboards, in English and Spanish, would offer the caution: "If the Border Patrol Doesn't Get You, the Chicken and Burgers Will — Go Vegan."
"We think that Mexicans and other immigrants should be warned if they cross into the U.S. they are putting their health at risk by leaving behind a healthier, staple diet of corn tortillas, beans, rice, fruits and vegetables," said Lindsay Rajt, assistant manager of PETA's vegan campaigns.
Of course it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the malnourished heart, but if PETA really believes that the average Mexican emigrant faces a healthier outlook at home (where per capita GDP is 72% lower than in the U.S.), thanks to the relative scarcity of affordable meat and dairy products, why don't they all make a run for the border themselves?
(HT: The Corner)
Handcrafted by Flip on August 13, 2008 |
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